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May 15, 2007

Telstra: the only poll that counts is ... umm ... no poll

Despite all its efforts to "set the record straight" - a theme to which a platoon of spin doctors, chairman Donald McGauchie, communications chief Phil Burgess a flotilla of shareholders, employees, contractors and sundry company mouthpieces constantly dedicate themselves on Telstra's Nowwearetalking corporate blog - readers seem to be getting it all crooked.

The latest example: When the Nowwearetalking organisers, led by such straight-shooters as "chief editor", the serially-and-professionally-agitated Rod Bruem, asked visitors to give their opinion on the following poll question: "Who do you think is blocking high-speed broadband for Australia?" a massive majority of readers failed conspicuously to vote for (a) the Government (b) Telstra's competitors, or (c) that "rogue regulator", the ACCC.

It's not as if they hadn't been given enough hints. CEO Sol Trujillo, in his frequent public wailings on the topic, has left no doubt whatsoever that the correct answer is (a). Alas, a mere 97.1 per cent of 13,000 of Telstra's respondents ticked the wrong damned box, and instead put the blame on ... dammit ... (d) Telstra.

It was just the latest refusal by an ungrateful public to tick the right boxes for our little Aussie telco battler. As APC blogger Dan Warne revealed, they'd also got it wrong on several other key questions:

• Do you think Australia is over-regulated? (The correct answer was of course, "Yes", but 65.6 per cent of visitors voted "No!")
• Will reducing staff numbers at Telstra increase efficiency? The majority response - 79.2% - was "No!"
• Should the ACCC Chairman resign after the regulator was found to have acted illegally towards Telstra? Despite all those hints about that roguish Graeme Samuel, the No's had it, by 73.1%.

So what does any self-respecting national carrier, dedicated to the proposition of straight talking, do in a situation like that? Well, it disables polling. Temporarily, at least, until they can get a few bugs, like, you know, democracy, out of the system.

According to Rod Bruem, the poll had been hijacked by a "computer program". Earlier, Telstra suggested it was a case of "spamming". Mind you, the fact that the latest poll question dreamed up by Chief Editor Bruem was, "Have you ever tried to rig an online poll?" suggests another line of reasoning entirely.

Indeed, in yet another version of straight-shooting, Bruem told News Limited that "Telstra-haters were directed to vote in the poll via popular blog Whirlpool."
About which Whirlpool news editor Phil Sweeney mused, "I guess Bruem had been hoping that only the Telstra-lovers they had been sending mailouts to would participate."

More than 43 per cent of respondents to the presumably rigged poll-rigging poll pleaded not guilty, on the grounds that they "wouldn't know how". Such a pity they couldn't have asked Telstra, because some of its staff have a deep interest and acknowledged expertise in poll-rigging. In fact, it seems, the bosses think it's terribly funny when they're fudging the results. Students of Freud might suggest, in the light of that, that Bruem's speculation that Telstra's competitors, now running the 'Tell The Truth Telstra' blog were somehow involved, might be a matter of projection.

Posted by cw at May 15, 2007 12:07 AM

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Posted by: Matt at May 15, 2007 01:24 PM

Posted by: Stephen at May 15, 2007 09:21 PM

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